crash crash please crash. i have no money to pay for broken things. that means i will be completely disconnected. there are things that we have done that we can not take back. hold my hand please. no phone no car no service. see what happened there? question everything. the government, your superiors, your inferiors, the papers the media. attack them all. they all want the same thing. the green bills and shrapnel in your pockets means more than the hand you extend out to your neighbor or brother or sister. we need something different
something simple.. a smile. if glue is what’s holding you together you will be in trouble when it rains. i need the phone to ring i need to hear the whispers your voice.. no no please sometimes. just read me a bed time story.

this is the only place i feel remotely safe to express my feelings… sad no?

i got rid of my facebook yes me! i feel good

i kinda just want to vomit all over the place… i feel gross, delusional and slow.. fuck this sucks i need to be more creative

yogurt tube

socks

wisdom extracted

 

 

small pox chicken pox futon mattress don’t talk. the sky is falling apart. threadless tshirts please. no phone calls after 9. am or pm? its verbal non verbal. a mix of emotions. in some vulgar state. no wait. vomit is only one of the symptoms. no i don’t want sex. he’s happy. that’s nice. still trying to find home. your gps is backwards. no wait what. don’t tell me birds can fly. seeing is believing. no faith is all i need. don’t jump. i will. take it back. left no right up no down. sonnets and metaphorical euphemism. feminist movements and art galleries. no matter how hard we try men always seem to let their basterdly ways over run every thing. will there ever be an equilibrium between positive and negative push or pull male or female. time is deadly. i don’t like the idea of chestnuts in the oven. working 9-5 makes me weak. still looking for someone to compliment me. not in words or statements. trees are nice, i wonder what is underneath the sidewalk. i cant believe i didn’t finish that movie. lyricless music. whisper to me. cookies are warm chocolate chips. that i was a double sentence, i am my own english teacher. life is complex and i am insane in my own sanity. we need realists in this world. we need day dreamers like me too. they can have their walls and limits. i live limitless and boxless. truth is authority. a part of me wishes you were here. blanket igloos and hot chocolate. cold toes and cut hands. loosing control my mother thinks i am weak. maturity does not come with age it comes with life experience. never listen to a clean shaven man wearing sweat pants and an american eagle t-shirt. cats are the future. lets feed the birds. thats not a stop sign dad. i don’t speak english. new years. what for. got plans. oh yes. sulking in my weird non scientology ways. contemplating whether or not i will make it into heaven or hell. i give all my indulgences that i have earned to my mother. i was never one for gambling or drinking. i need to loose weight. friends are far and few. its hard to find anything on this planet that is real anymore. materialistic goods are driving people insane. Although we need money, it has no value or meaning to me. i have a jar of over 500 pennies. each penny is a wish i have made for someone else. some are wishes for the same people multiple times, most of them are for people i don’t know and other wishes are mad on behalf of my own selfish desires. if i could have anything right now it would be a very cute boy sitting with me some place far away in silence with a lot of hot chocolate. talking about some powerful stuff. what happened to him. i thought he was great. i did. when i cry its usually cause i am overwhelmed with so much love. i would not be the woman i am today if it wasn’t for God my family and the things i have gone through. i feel really tired but i want to stay up. why do people care, is there anyway i can leave this without feeling like i am on some kind of awkward note?

does it feel awkward? did i just make that more awkward. ok..

i got attitude punk

better learn how to deal with that

well thats an out of body experience

this morning i woke up naked next to myself

fuck dating

so i made a vow last night that i would stop looking and dating people, i have been so frustrated with my efforts the past couple of months. I had become more and more depressed, thinking that i would never find someone that i could click with. I had gone on many first dates and to be honest i have never met so many incompetent men in my entire life. Or maybe i just attracted the wrong type of men.. not entirely sure. I have just become so frustrated with this whole dating thing that last night i said fuck it. What’s the point i am gonna live my life and do what i want. I am not gonna waste my time looking. The right man will come long when the time is right yes? So, patient i will be and i will wait for the charming young bloke, when the time is right we shall meet. But for now i am gonna kick back enjoy my life and rock out like no ones watching!  :)